As a mother (or a father I suppose), you dream big for your children. When they are born you look forward to the days when they can crawl, walk, say your name, and even comfort them. One of the things that the arthritis has prohibited Brylea is the fact that she does not want anyone to hold her hand. It is almost as if it hurts. So walking alongside her, we as her parents, just huddle around her to make sure she doesn't dart anywhere.
The other night she crawled in the bed with us. As I was falling asleep she scooted next to me and whispered, "Hold my hand, Mommy." It was the sweetest words (next to "I love you") that I have ever heard come from Brylea's mouth. I gently moved my hand over and placed it in hers. I cherished that moment and probably will for the rest of my life. For the first time in 3 years I had finally felt Brylea's hand in mine. It is the small things like this that help me through the days when I am uncertain about the future. I do know that God is in ultimate control and I have given this illness to Him. A few weeks back our youth pastor preached on James. James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (NIV). I find glimmers of joy through all of this. This last "glimmer" had me so OVER joyed that I had to share it.
I also wanted to let you know that Brylea has been doing good. With the colder fronts moving in it hinders her a bit in the mornings but nothing too severe as of yet. We (actually I should just say "I") have been preparing for the Juvenile Arthritis Conference this weekend at Great Wolf Lodge. We recieved our agenda for the weekend and I am super excited to be able to network with other parents and also discover more about this disease. I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who donated to help make this possible. This weekend would not have been made possible without the support of so many friends, family, co-workers, and even strangers coming together in a short amount of time. I will take lots of pictures and cannot wait to share them!
