Reflections

As I sit in my bed, going through my nightly routine of thumbing through the seemingly endless Facebook posts, I suddenly realize what is going on in my bed.  I have a husband that is trying to take a cat nap before heading out of State for the next few days.  I have my youngest son glued to hubby's back sleeping soundly.  Then, I have Brylea sleeping at the opposite end of my bed.  We had our usual night of what I call "Crazy Dance Night" where the girls and I spend the majority of our afternoon/evening preparing and going to dance.  Bry wasn't quite into it but I talked her into going tonight.  She then comes home with a new complaint.  She says her shoulders are hurting and it feels like her "bones are cracking."  Hubby and I make her more comfortable in the bed with her Kindle and just silently watching her.  She knows what this means.  She needs a shot.  She asks about it and we confirm that she will not get one tonight.  However, in the back of my mind the big day is coming.  Infusion.

I'll be the first to admit that Brylea and her personality drive me INSANE!  She is strong-willed and stubborn to the core.  However, everyone else that encounters Brylea sees nothing but her quirky personality (I swear she is Junie B Jones reincarnate) or the fact that she looks like Drew Barrymore in ET (may hold on to that for early retirement!).  Brylea is my beautiful, blonde hair baby girl.  She makes me laugh.  She loves to cuddle. She is a free spirit.  She is my blessing.  And as I sit here tonight surrounded by 3 of my blessings it made me turn off Facebook and truly thank God for what I have.

I was talking to Nathan the other night about the upcoming infusion.  I was sharing with him my thoughts on the whole arthritis and how it sucks.  Then Nathan brought up a good point.  He asked if I ever stopped to think about the impact Brylea has made on those she has not met.  And the fact that this is going to be her testimony one day as it is ours now.  Yes, I know, she is not healed.  However, our testimony in this journey is that God has provided TREMENDOUSLY in all of this.  We have heard story after story of parents that have to fly to doctors appointments, or drive long hours, with the expense of hotel rooms.  Plus, the cost of the medicines alone!  We pay maybe $50/month for our prescriptions.  Did not have a second thought in it until I heard recently of a family that pays $4,000/month for one prescription.  That's right!  No typo!  Her doctors appointments are free of charge.  God may not have healed us (yet!) but He has provided.  He has taken such good care of us and yet I am worried over an infusion.  A simply IV.  I worry about her future mate.  I just worry.  I wasn't given the gift of compassion.  Just worrying.  But through this all I have also been blessed with friends and family that have shown enough compassion and love that it makes it tolerable.

So, I can sit back and worry and fret over this appointment on Monday.  Or I can sit back and soak up the blessings that God has surrounded me with and that I take for granted on a daily basis.  Thank you to those that are reading this.  Thank you for those that have offered food or help.  Thank you to those that have simply asked what you can do to help.  And, most of all, thank you to those that have prayed for Brylea.